Signs of Peace...

Hello to everyone-

I walk to work every morning. On this walk I round the corner of our street and span the length of a massive peace wall. Green metal, 15 feet in the air. Keeping people out? Keeping people in? That is the question. Broken glass litters the streets, words like "Paddy" line the wall. Huge burnt holes creep up on you every once in a while in the sheets of metal where petrol bombs have tried to break the wall, damage the wall, or scare the community living on one, or both sides. I walk the length of that one wall and then turn a corner. This street I am on now is between two peace walls. A flashpoint they might call it here. A place with no one. No owner. Neither Catholic nor Protestant wants this street. It is in the middle of this fight, excluded from one community, while also being excluded from the other. A no man's land of sorts. In between ground? Or just a street that was left out of the cut, thrown to the wolves. 

Some of my co-workers (mainly the ones that have adopted the father role to me whilst being here) don't like for me to walk this way at all. Some just warn to only walk it in the light of day. I feel as safe on that street as I do in any of the other streets in Belfast and so, with a new look on life I set off most mornings, in the light of day, to work. 

This week I noticed one day on my way to work that a field, covered in wild flowers, green rolling hills as far as the eye can see was littered with the trappings of last nights festivities. It was the usual, broken glass, beer cans, stones, bricks, and large 4X4's that had nails on the ends of them. Now, I cannot speculate what really went on there the night before in the cover of darkness, but lets just say that riots are not something that are new to these kids on this block. I walked by and suddenly felt very alone. I felt very sad. Cheated almost. I felt like all of this, this whole experience was a fraud. I felt isolated. I stood between peace walls and thought, why am I here? At work I had a hard time the whole day keeping my head up. I felt like everything that I did was not good enough. I kept seeing those stones, that broken glass in my head. I could not shake that image. The day ended and it was yet again time for me to walk back home for the day. I thought twice about which way to go. Did I want to see that again? Did I want to feel worse? Was that possible? I decided to face my fears and to go home the same way I had gone to work. 

As I got closer to the no man's land I noticed that there was not as much trash on the streets. I noticed the flowers more. The yellow, blue and white buds in the ground. I came to the gates of the park trashed only hours before to find a group of teenagers hard at work. The trash was gone, the beer cans were cleared. The stones, no longer blocking my feet on the path. All of the teenagers were working hard and as I got closer I saw, those pieces of wood that once had been scattered about, used as weapons maybe, were being used in another way. This time the old nails had been stripped and new ones were being used. Together they worked, they were building something. 

The next morning as I started a new day I came by the same spot to find a newly constructed football goal (soccer) and two little girls playing on it. 

I smiled a smile that I will never forget. Closed my eyes and said out loud "Peace". 

I don't know if these kids stumbled upon these pieces of wood and decided to use them for good. I don't know if these kids were the same ones who used them for bad the night and days before. All I know that peace, peace is in everything. It is in the broken glass that has been cleared away. It is in the 4X4's that have been used to build a football goal. Peace. Peace is what I see. 

Peace to you all-

Melissa 

There is nothing like the present moment...

Hello everyone!

I hope that this post finds you all doing well and enjoying this spring time of year. I have enjoyed spring in Scotland and N. Ireland. My fellow YAV's and I just got home from our (sadly) last retreat together in Iona Scotland. It was truly a magical place. The natural beauty of this place was just stunning and the history that seemed to be in every step you would take on the Island was just fascinating. We got to hike and enjoy the beauty of the Island and we got to worship in an Abbey built by St. Columba thousands and thousands of years ago.

Below I have updated my slideshow to include some of the best pictures of the week in Scotland.

Since I last blogged I found out that I was accepted into one of the nations leading schools for social work. Washington University in St. Louis has a wonderful reputation for their Masters program in social work and I was honored to accept their offer and a scholarship they were kind enough to give me. I feel as though God is calling me to go and hone my skills as a social worker so that I can better serve.

As I started this decision process as to what to do after my year overseas I found that God was truly in this continuation of ministry. As I get closer to coming home, I find that I am trying to figure out what is next for me. I have and will continue to struggle every day of my life (and I know I am not alone) with the concept of when to act and when to remain still and wait. This decision to come to N. Ireland was one of the easiest ones of my life it seems. Likewise, this decision to move to St. Louis has been as equally easy. I feel a strong sense of call to social work and in particular finding a way to use the skills I have learned here in N. Ireland and apply them to life in the U.S.

Like the title of my blog says, there is truly nothing like the present moment. While I was in Iona Scotland I found much time to be by myself and I found that time, at the top of hills overlooking the sea, watching sun sets over the ocean, and below a cross that has been there since 600 A.D. to be so spiritually fulfilling. One day I was walking with my friends back to the place we stayed on the Island and we walked by a bench that simply read "Be Still". After finding my favorite places to reflect, read, or just look out at the beauty of the Island, I spent the next day on that bench. I enjoyed the coolness of the breeze that went through the Abbey walls, I enjoyed the birds building their nests upon the walls, I enjoyed the smiles and "hello's" I got from all who passed by. I was truly still. Still in mind, in body and in soul.

As I continue to struggle with this ingrained need to always be doing something, always be busy, achieving, doing...I am reminded that just being still, even if only for a time, is essential. I may always be a planner, I may always need to know what is next on my plate. But, I do see the good in being still, in finding the peace that lies in every moment of the day. To take time, be still, and wait, wait for God to call you. To listen, to act, and to serve.

Peace and love be with you all-

Melissa